[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
[场景：Central Perk，Monica自己坐着，Ross、Rachel、Chandler和Joey穿着垒球衣进来了]
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Monica：Hi…比赛怎么样？
Ross: Well..
Ross：嗯…
All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!
大家：我们赢了！谢谢大家！Yes！
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
Monica：太好了！我只有一个问题：这怎么可能？
Joey: Alan.
Joey：因为Alan。
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-…
Ross：他简直让人不敢相信。他就好象那个-那个-那个疯狂的巴尼兔卡通，充当了所有位置的比赛。不过这里不是巴尼，这里是一垒Alan、二垒Alan、三垒…
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Rachel：我是说，就好像，他把我们凝聚成了一个队伍。
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..
Chandler：是啊，我们给那些犹太教的珠宝商上了一堂垒球课…
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D’you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Monica：我能问你们一个问题吗？你们是否觉得Alan可能…有时候…
Ross: What?
Ross：什么？
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
Monica：…我不知道，有点太Alan了？
Rachel: Well, no. That’s impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Rachel：嗯，不。那是不可能的恶，不可能太Alan的。
Ross: Yeah, it’s his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Ross：对，是他，恩，天生的Alan，我们崇拜他。
Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.
Chandler：我自己就可以喝掉一加仑的Alan。
[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]
[场景：街上，Phoebe正在走向她认识的一个流浪人（Lizzie）]
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe：你好，Lizzie。
Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl.
Lizzie：你好，怪女孩。
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Phoebe：我给你带了字母汤。
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?
Lizzie：元音挑出来了吗？
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. ‘Cause, y’know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Phoebe：当然。不过我留下了所有的Y。因为，你知道的，“有时候总要问问Y”。恩，我还给你带了一些其他东西。
Lizzie: Saltines?
Lizzie：咸饼干？
Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?
Phoebe：不，但是你愿意收下这一千块钱还有这个足球电话吗？
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there’s really money in here.
Lizzie：什么？（她打开了Phoebe给她的信封）哦，天哪，是真钱。
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe：我知道。
Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?
Lizzie：怪女孩，你在干吗？
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don’t want it.
Phoebe：不，我不想要了，不想要。
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
Lizzie：不，不，我得，我的给你一些东西。
Phoebe: Oh, that’s fine, no.
Phoebe：哦，没关系，不用了。
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?
Lizzie：你喜欢我的锡纸帽么？
Phoebe: No. ‘Cause you need that. No, it’s okay, thanks.
Phoebe：不用了，因为你需要那个。不，没关系的，谢谢。
Lizzie: Please, let me do something.
Lizzie：拜托，让我给你点什么吧。
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we’re even. Okay?
Phoebe：好吧，那你给我买个汽水吧，这样咱俩就算扯平，好吗？
Lizzie: Okay.
Lizzie：好吧。
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe：好的。
[Scene: Chandler’s office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
[场景：Chandler的办公室，Chandler正在环顾四周，打开了他的桌子抽屉，抽了一口烟，并向四周喷了些空气清新剂，然后喷了些口气清新剂。他打了一会字，再次打开抽屉，又抽了一口烟。因为没有注意，他把口气清新剂当作空气清新剂喷在了房间里，吸了一口喷出的空气清新剂在嘴里，然后开始作呕]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
[场景：街上，Phoebe和Lizzie停在一个卖热狗的小摊前]
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don’t wanna pretzel?
Lizzie：不用找了。（对Phoebe）你确定不想要椒盐卷饼么？
Phoebe: No, I’m fine.
Phoebe：不用了，我很好。
Lizzie: (leaves) See ya.
Lizzie：（离开）再见。
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
（Phoebe打开汽水罐，并有所反应）
Phoebe: Huh!
Phoebe：哈！
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
[场景：Central Perk，Phoebe正在给大家讲她的经历]
Ross: A thumb?!
Ross：一个拇指？！
(Phoebe nods.)
（Phoebe点头）
All: Eww!
大家：恶心！
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Phoebe：我知道，我知道，我打开罐子后它就在里面了，浮在汽水上，就好像一个搭便车的人。
Chandler: Well, maybe it’s a contest, y’know? Like, collect all five?
Chandler：嗯，也许是一种促销，你知道么，就像，集齐五个可以兑奖？
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe：嗯，有人想要看看吗？
All: Nooo!
大家：不用！
(Chandler lights a cigarette.)
（Chandler点了一支烟）
All: Oh, hey, don’t do that! Cut it out!
大家：哦，嘿，别抽！灭掉！
Rachel: It’s worse than the thumb!
Rachel：这比手指还糟糕！
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!
Chandler：嘿，这太不公平了！
Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?
Monica：哦，为什么不公平？
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey’s constant knuckle-cracking isn’t annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? …I accept all those flaws, why can’t you accept me for this?
Chandler：我只是有个缺点，有什么了不起的？难道Joey扳手指的声音就不烦人？还有Ross，每个字的发音都标准得过分？我是说，这到底是怎么回事？…我能接受大家所有这些缺点，为什么你们就不能接受我的一个缺点？
(An awkward silence ensues.)
（一段令人尴尬的沉默）
Joey: …Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
Joey：…大家都觉得扳手指的声音很烦人吗？
Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.
Rachel：嗯，我有点烦。
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Joey：好吧，那么，是有一点点烦，还是像Phoebe咬自己头发那样非常烦？
(Phoebe spits out her hair.)
（Phoebe吐出了自己的头发）
Ross: Oh, now, don’t listen to him, Pheebs, I think it’s endearing.
Ross：哦，别听他的，Phoebe，我觉得这样很可爱。
Joe
y: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?
Joey：哦，（模仿Ross）“你真的这样觉得，对吧”？
(Monica laughs and snorts.)
（Monica大笑，发出了鼻息的声音）
Ross: You know, there’s nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
Ross：你知道么，吐字清楚又不犯法。
Rachel: "Indeed there isn’t"… I should really get back to work.
Rachel：“其实也不是那么…”我真的该去工作了。
Phoebe: Yeah, ’cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Phoebe：对啊，要不然大家都可以拿到自己真正点过的东西了。
Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.
Rachel：哦，哦，哦，头发吐出来了，现在轮到手套了？
(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)
（他们吵成一团，Chandler开心地抽起烟来，一点不受干扰）
[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]
[场景：Iridium，Monica和Paula正在工作]
Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like? Monica：你有没有和一个你的朋友都喜欢的男人约会过？
Paula: No.
Paula：没有过。
Monica: Okay.. Well, I’m going out with a guy my friends all really like.
Monica：好吧，恩，我正要和一个朋友们都喜欢的男人约会。
Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!
Paula：等等，等等…我们在这里说的是狼群，对吧？一头牛竟然安全通过了！
Monica: Can you believe it? …Y’know what? I just don’t feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don’t feel the thing.
Monica：你能相信吗？…你知道么，我只是对他没有感觉。我是说，他们有感觉，但是我没有感觉。
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that’s how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Paula：Honey，你总得去感觉一下那话儿吧。听着，如果你真的对一个男人没感觉，甩掉就可以了！
//the thing，呵呵，Monica和Paula的所指的完全不同:)
Monica: I know.. it’s gonna be really hard.
Monica：我知道…只是这样做真的很难。
Paula: Well, he’s a big boy, he’ll get over it.
Paula：嗯，他是个大人了，会挺过来的。
Monica: No, he’ll be fine. It’s the other five I’m worried about.
Monica：不，他会没事的，不过我担心的是另外五个。
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
[场景：Central Perk，Joey和Ross正在劝Chandler不要抽烟]
Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?
Joey：你对自己的身体一点都不关心吗？
Ross: Don’t you realise what you’re-you’re doing to yourself?
Ross：你意识到了自己正在对自己的身体做什么吗？
Chandler: Hey, y’know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Chandler：嘿，你知道么，我已经对你们，以及你们的癌症、你们的废气肿，还有你们的心脏病受够了。底线是，抽烟很酷，你们也知道的。
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It’s Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Rachel：（把电话举给Chandler）Chandler，是Alan，他想跟你说话。
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what’s up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it’s not that big- ..well, that’s true,.. Gee, y’know, no-one- no-one’s ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler：真的？是他？（对着电话）嘿，老兄，什么事？哦，她已经告诉你了啊，恩，恩，对，我现在正在抽呢。恩，哦，也没有那么严…哦，那倒是真的…你知道么，还从没有人这样和我说过。恩，好的，谢谢！（他挂掉电话，熄灭了正在抽的烟）
Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he’s good.
Rachel：（对正在纳闷的Ross）天哪，他真行！
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Ross：如果他是个女人就好了。
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel：是啊。
(They give each other a dubious look.)
（他们用怀疑的眼光看了看对方）
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，除了Monica和Joey，大家都在看Lamb chop]
//Lamb chop，一种木偶戏
Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it’d be talking too.
Chandler：哦，Lamb chop。那个袜子多大了？如果我把袜子套在手上三十年，那也就可以说话了。
Ross: Okay. I think it’s time to change somebody’s nicotine patch. (Does so.)
Ross：好的，我想是时间给某人换尼古丁贴片了（换贴片）。
Monica: (entering) Hey. Where’s Joey?
Monica：（进入）嘿，Joey在哪里？
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Chandler：Joey刚吃了我最后一块口香糖，我把他杀了。你觉得我做的不对吗？
Rachel: I think he’s across the hall.
Rachel：我想他在走廊对面呢。
Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)
Monica：谢谢（过去叫他）。
Ross: (finishing changing Chandler’s nicotine patch) There y’go.
Ross：（换完了Chandler的尼古丁贴片）好了。
Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I’m alive with pleasure now.
Chandler：（面无表情）哦，我又充满快乐了。
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
Ross：嘿，Phoebe，你要吃那剩下的那块馅饼吗？…Pheebes？
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
Phoebe：有人要吃剩下的这块馅饼吗？
Ross: Hey, I might!
Ross：嘿，我要！
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y’know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Phoebe：对不起…你知道，那些愚蠢的汽水公司员工给了我七千块钱作为拇指的补偿。
All: You’re kidding. Oh my God.
大家：你在开玩笑吧，我的天哪。
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. …What is up with the universe?!
Phoebe：而在我来这里的路上，我踩到了口香糖…这个世界到底是怎么回事？
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What’s going on?
Joey：（被Monica拽了进来，他刚从浴室出来）怎么了？
Monica: Nothing. I just think it’s nice when we’re all here together.
Monica：没事。我只是觉得咱们大伙聚在一起很不错。
Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..
Joey：比大家都穿上自己的内裤还不错…
Rachel: Uh, Joey..
Rachel：哦，Joey…
Joey: Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)
Joey：哦，天哪！（仓促地盖住自己的腿）
Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..
Monica：（关掉了电视）好吧…
All: Oh! That was Lambchop!
大家：哦，我们正在看Lamb chop！
Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.
Monica：拜托，大伙，我们要谈谈。
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I’m getting a deja vu…no, I’m not.
Phoebe：等等，等等，我似乎经历过这样的场面…哦，没有。
//deja vu，法语，seen before的意思。
Monica: Alright, we have to talk.
Monica：好吧，我们要谈谈。
Phoebe: There it is!
Phoebe：就是这个场面！
Monica: Okay. It’s-it’s about Alan. There’s something that you should know. I mean, there’s really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I’ve decided to break up with Alan.
Monica：好吧。是有关Alan的。有些事情你们
知道，我是说，这话并不好说出口…恩…我决定和Alan分手了。
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
（大家都很吃惊并互相抓着手）
Ross: Is there somebody else?
Ross：是因为有第三者吗？
Monica: No, nononono.. it’s just.. things change. People change.
Monica：不，不不不不不…只是…有些事改变了，人改变了。
Rachel: We didn’t change..
Rachel：我们没有改变啊…
Joey: So that’s it? It’s over? Just like that?
Joey：难道就这样？这就完了？就这样？
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Phoebe：你知道吗，你放松警惕了，并且开始真正关心某人了，而我只是…（开始咬自己的头发）
Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-
Monica：瞧！我可以继续假装…
Joey: Okay!
Joey：好啊！
Monica: -but that wouldn’t be fair to me, it wouldn’t be fair to Alan- It wouldn’t be fair to you!
Monica：但是那样对我太不公平了，对Alan也不公平，对你们也不公平！
Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y’know, I just want things back. Y’know, the way they were.
Ross：谁，谁要公平？你知道么，我正希望事情都回到往日，就是你们以前的状态下。
Monica: I’m sorry..
Monica：对不起…
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she’s sorry! I feel better!
Chandler：（讽刺地）哦，她道歉了，我感觉好多了！
Rachel: (tearful) I just can’t believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
Rachel：（泪盈盈地）我只是不敢相信这些，我是说，马上就要放假了，我还想让他见见我家人呢…
Monica: I’ll meet somone else. There’ll be other Alans.
Monica：我会认识其他人的，还会有另外一个Alan。
All: Oh, yeah! Right!
大家：哦，是啊！
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
Monica：你们大伙没事吧？
Ross: Hey hey, we’ll be fine. We’re just gonna need a little time.
Ross：嘿，嘿，我们都没事，我们只是需要一点时间。
Monica: (dubious) I understand.
Monica：（不确信地）我明白了。
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
[场景：一家餐馆，Monica正在跟Alan说这件事]
Alan: Wow.
Alan：哇。
Monica: I’m, I’m really sorry.
Monica：我，我真的很对不起。
Alan: Yeah, I’m sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Alan：我知道，我也很对不起。但是，我得告诉你，我有点松了一口气。
Monica: Relieved?
Monica：真的？
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can’t stand your friends.
Alan：对，真的，我和你在一起很愉快…我只是受不了你的朋友们。
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，大家围在桌子旁吃冰淇淋]
Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.
Rachel：还记得咱们去中央公园租船吗？那真好玩。
Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.
Ross：是啊，他划得就像维京海盗一样好。
Monica: (entering) Hi.
Monica：（进来）Hi。
All: Mmm.
大家：嗯。
Ross: So how’d it go?
Ross：怎么样了？
Monica: Oh, y’know..
Monica：哦，你知道的…
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe：他提到我们了吗？
Monica: He said he’s really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)
Monica：他说他会想你们的。（不确信地看着）
Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c’mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)
Ross：你这一天真不痛快，恩，过来。（她坐下，Ross按摩她的前额）
Chandler: …That’s it. I’m getting cigarettes.
Chandler：…我受够了，我要抽烟了。
All: No no no!
大家：不、不、不！
Chandler: (leaving) I don’t care, I don’t care! Game’s over! I’m weak! I’ve gotta smoke! I’ve gotta have the smoke!
Chandler：（离开）我不在乎，我不在乎！游戏结束了，我要抽烟，我要抽烟！
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I’ll give you seven thousand dollars!
Phoebe：（对着正要离开的Chandler大喊）如果你永远不再抽烟，我就把这七千块钱给你！
Chandler: (returns) Yeah, alright.
Chandler：（返回来）好吧！
End
结束