104 The One With George Stephanopoulos
104 George Stephanopoulos
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
[场景：Central Perk，除了Joey大家都在]
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Monica：该你了，Phoebe？
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest…And bigger boobs!
Phoebe：好吧，好吧。如果有一天我变得全能，我会希望，恩，世界和平，不再有饥饿，雨林不再被砍伐…还有，更大的胸部！
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Ross：哦，你说了我的愿望。Chandler，你希望什么？
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I’d.. make myself omnipotent forever.
Chandler：嗯，如果有一天我变得全能，我想，把自己变得永远全能。
Rachel: See, there’s always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I’d wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Rachel：瞧，总有这样的人。（嘲笑地）“如果能实现我的一个愿望，我希望我能再要三个愿望”（Joey进来了）
All: Hey Joey. Hi.
大家：嘿，Joey。
Joey:Hey, buddy.
Joey：嘿，大伙。
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Monica：嘿，Joey，如果你变得全能，你会做什么？
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Joey：大概是自杀吧！
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Monica：…什么？
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey’s dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey：嘿，如果小Joey已经死了，那我也不想活了！
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Ross：Joey，恩.OMnipotent
Joey: You are? Ross, I’m sorry..
Joey：你？哦，对不起…
//这里有个关于omnipotent的笑话，omnipotent的意思是“全能”，而impotent的意思是“无能、阳痿”。很明显，大家问Joey变得“omnipotent”之后会做什么，很明显Joey听成变得“impotent”之后会做什么了，呵呵，可以理解，当然要自杀了。随后Ross向Joey强调，是“OMnipotent”，并着重强调单词开头的“OM”，而Joey听成了“I’m”，他以为Ross说自己是“impotent”，自然会感到Sorry了…。呵呵，有些东西确实不能翻译。
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
[场景：Central Perk，Ross和Monica正在看Phoebe睡觉]
Monica: How does she do that?
Monica：她怎么做到的？
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Ross：我在公共场所就睡不着。
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Monica：看她，睡得多安详啊。
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! …Hi.
Phoebe：（突然醒来，吓倒了他俩）哦，怎么了，怎么了，怎么了，Hi。
Ross: It’s okay, y’know, you just nodded off again.
Ross：没事，只是你刚才又打盹了。
Monica: What’s going on with you?
Monica：你怎么回事？
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Phoebe：昨晚我几乎没有睡觉！
Ross: Why?
Ross：为什么？
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they’re both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they’re constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they’re having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Phoebe：我奶奶交了一个新男朋友，他们在床上都缺乏自信，，哦，而且耳朵不太好。所以昨晚，他们几乎整晚都在努力让对方相信自己很爽。你们简直无法想象有多吵。
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Monica：嗯，如果你愿意，今晚你可以和我还有Rachel住在一起。
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe：谢谢。
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
（Chandler和Joey进来了，Joey正在数步数）
Joey: …Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Joey：…95，96，97。瞧，我说过，从我们家到这里不会超过100步。
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler：你的闲时间太多了。
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here’s the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we’re taking you.
Joey：（对ROSS）嘿，寿星仔在这里呢！Ross，看：曲棍球票，骑兵队对企鹅对，今晚在花园球场，我们带你一起去。
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler：生日快乐，伙计！
Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)
Joey：我们爱你，老兄（亲Ross）。
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Ross：有意思，我的生日七个月前就过了。
Joey: So?
Joey：所以呢？
Ross: So, I’m guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn’t decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Ross：所以我猜你们是有一张多余的票，但是不知道要带谁去。
Chandler: Well, aren’t we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler：嗯，我们可不是那个“只剩半瓶水”先生。
//一个经典段子，装了半瓶水的瓶子，悲观的人看到会说“瓶子里只剩半瓶水了”，而乐观的人看到会说“瓶子里还有半瓶水”。Chandler借这个来比喻悲观的人。
Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
Ross：哦，天哪，哦，今天是12号？10月12号？
Monica: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t remember.
Monica：哦，我正希望你没有想起来呢。
Ross: Ohhh.
Ross：哦。
Joey: What’s wrong with the twentieth?
Joey：12号怎么啦？
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler：万圣节前11天？所有好看的服装都被卖光了?
Ross: Today’s the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I’d better pass on the game. I think I’m just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Ross：今天是Carol和我第一次…发生了肉体上的关系。（Joey不明白）就是做爱…你知道么，我还是不去看比赛了。我还是回家去想我的前妻和她的同性恋爱人吧。
Joey: The hell with hockey, let’s all do that!
Joey：去他的曲棍球，咱们一起去想吧！
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C’mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys’ night out, c’mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler：（试图劝说Ross不要走）拜托，Ross！你，我，Joey，黄牛票，今晚是男人的夜晚。去看吧，大个子（假装打他的肚子）恩？恩？恩？
//ice，俚语里有黄牛票的意思
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross：你在干嘛？
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler：（停手）我也不知道。
Joey: C’mon, Ross!
Joey：来吧，Ross！
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it’ll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross：好吧，好吧。也许我能换换心情，不过你要保证给我买一个大拇指。
//看比赛的时候他们都会在手指上套一个泡沫手掌，剧中很多地方都可以看到。
Chandler: You got it.
Chandler：没问题。
(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)
（Rachel跑过来，手中拿着一个大信封）
Rachel: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there’s my name! Hi, me!
Rachel：看，看，看，看，看，我第一次领薪水！看这个窗口，里面写了我的名字！Hi，我。
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Phoebe：我还记得我第一次领薪水的那天，矿井塌
方了，那一次死了八个人。
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Monica：哦，你那时在矿场工作？
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Phoebe：不，我在Dairy Queen冰淇淋店工作，怎么啦？
Rachel: God, isn’t this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel：天哪，心情很激动啊。这是我挣的，我擦桌子、煮牛奶、而这薪水简直…（打开信封）…太不值了。FICA是谁？他们干嘛拿走我所有的钱？看啊，Chandler，看这是怎么回事？
//FICA，Federal Insurance Contributions Act，联邦保险捐献行动
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Chandler：（看信）哦，也不是那么糟。
Joey: Oh, you’re fine, yeah, for a first job.
Joey：哦，对于第一份工作来说，你已经很不错啦。
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Ross：你靠这个已经完全可以生活了。
Monica: Yeah, yeah.
Monica：对啊，没错。
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Ross：哦，对了，今晚的服务非常好。
All: Oh! Yeah!
大家：哦！对！
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
（大家都拿出钱包给了非常大方的小费）
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel’s friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
男生们：曲棍球！（他们打算出门，不过被Rachel的三个朋友Leslie、Kiki还有Joanne挡住了，男生们停下来看这三个人）
Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?
Leslie：（环顾四周）Rachel？
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Rachel：哦，天哪！（Rachel、Leslie、Kiki还有Joanne尖叫着拥抱对方）
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I’ve seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Monica：（对Phoebe）我发誓我在野生动物园里看过这样的场景。
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Rachel：你们在这里干嘛？
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it’s true!
Kiki：嗯，我们进城来购物，你妈妈说你在这里上班，原来是真的。
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you’re in a play.
Joanne：看，你穿着围裙呢。你看起来好像在演戏。
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can’t believe it!
Rachel：（对着怀孕的Leslie）瞧你啊，都已经这么大了，我真不敢相信！
Leslie: I know. I know! I’m a duplex.
Leslie：我知道，我知道！我怀的双胞胎。
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what’s going on with you?
Rachel：（对Loanne）那么你最近如何？
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad’s making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)
Loanne：嗯，猜猜我爸现在在生意上和谁合作？（她指着自己，大家又开始尖叫）
Kiki: And while we’re on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Kiki：还有一个消息…（她举起手指亮出了订婚戒指，大家再次尖叫）
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
Phoebe：（对Monica）看啊，看啊，我有手肘！（她俩尖叫）
104 George Stephanopoulos
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
[场景：Central Perk，除了Joey大家都在]
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Monica：该你了，Phoebe？
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest…And bigger boobs!
Phoebe：好吧，好吧。如果有一天我变得全能，我会希望，恩，世界和平，不再有饥饿，雨林不再被砍伐…还有，更大的胸部！
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Ross：哦，你说了我的愿望。Chandler，你希望什么？
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I’d.. make myself omnipotent forever.
Chandler：嗯，如果有一天我变得全能，我想，把自己变得永远全能。
Rachel: See, there’s always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I’d wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Rachel：瞧，总有这样的人。（嘲笑地）“如果能实现我的一个愿望，我希望我能再要三个愿望”（Joey进来了）
All: Hey Joey. Hi.
大家：嘿，Joey。
Joey:Hey, buddy.
Joey：嘿，大伙。
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Monica：嘿，Joey，如果你变得全能，你会做什么？
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Joey：大概是自杀吧！
Monica: ..Excuse me?
Monica：…什么？
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey’s dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey：嘿，如果小Joey已经死了，那我也不想活了！
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Ross：Joey，恩.OMnipotent
Joey: You are? Ross, I’m sorry..
Joey：你？哦，对不起…
//这里有个关于omnipotent的笑话，omnipotent的意思是“全能”，而impotent的意思是“无能、阳痿”。很明显，大家问Joey变得“omnipotent”之后会做什么，很明显Joey听成变得“impotent”之后会做什么了，呵呵，可以理解，当然要自杀了。随后Ross向Joey强调，是“OMnipotent”，并着重强调单词开头的“OM”，而Joey听成了“I’m”，他以为Ross说自己是“impotent”，自然会感到Sorry了…。呵呵，有些东西确实不能翻译。
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
[场景：Central Perk，Ross和Monica正在看Phoebe睡觉]
Monica: How does she do that?
Monica：她怎么做到的？
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Ross：我在公共场所就睡不着。
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Monica：看她，睡得多安详啊。
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! …Hi.
Phoebe：（突然醒来，吓倒了他俩）哦，怎么了，怎么了，怎么了，Hi。
Ross: It’s okay, y’know, you just nodded off again.
Ross：没事，只是你刚才又打盹了。
Monica: What’s going on with you?
Monica：你怎么回事？
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Phoebe：昨晚我几乎没有睡觉！
Ross: Why?
Ross：为什么？
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they’re both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they’re constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they’re having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Phoebe：我奶奶交了一个新男朋友，他们在床上都缺乏自信，，哦，而且耳朵不太好。所以昨晚，他们几乎整晚都在努力让对方相信自己很爽。你们简直无法想象有多吵。
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Monica：嗯，如果你愿意，今晚你可以和我还有Rachel住在一起。
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe：谢谢。
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
（Chandler和Joey进来了，Joey正在数步数）
Joey: …Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Joey：…95，96，97。瞧，我说过，从我们家到这里不会超过100步。
Chandler: You got waaaay too much free time.
Chandler：你的闲时间太多了。
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here’s the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we’re taking you.
Joey：（对ROSS）嘿，寿星仔在这里呢！Ross，看：曲棍球票，骑兵队对企鹅对，今晚在花园球场，我们带你一起去。
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal!
Chandler：生日快乐，伙计！
Joey: We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)
Joey：我们爱你，老兄（亲Ross）。
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Ross：有意思，我的生日七个月前就过了。
Joey: So?
Joey：所以呢？
Ross: So, I’m guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn’t decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Ross：所以我猜你们是有一张多余的票，但是不知道要带谁去。
Chandler: Well, aren’t we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler：嗯，我们可不是那个“只剩半瓶水”先生。
//一个经典段子，装了半瓶水的瓶子，悲观的人看到会说“瓶子里只剩半瓶水了”，而乐观的人看到会说“瓶子里还有半瓶水”。Chandler借这个来比喻悲观的人。
Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
Ross：哦，天哪，哦，今天是12号？10月12号？
Monica: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t remember.
Monica：哦，我正希望你没有想起来呢。
Ross: Ohhh.
Ross：哦。
Joey: What’s wrong with the twentieth?
Joey：12号怎么啦？
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Chandler：万圣节前11天？所有好看的服装都被卖光了?
Ross: Today’s the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I’d better pass on the game. I think I’m just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Ross：今天是Carol和我第一次…发生了肉体上的关系。（Joey不明白）就是做爱…你知道么，我还是不去看比赛了。我还是回家去想我的前妻和她的同性恋爱人吧。
Joey: The hell with hockey, let’s all do that!
Joey：去他的曲棍球，咱们一起去想吧！
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C’mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys’ night out, c’mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Chandler：（试图劝说Ross不要走）拜托，Ross！你，我，Joey，黄牛票，今晚是男人的夜晚。去看吧，大个子（假装打他的肚子）恩？恩？恩？
//ice，俚语里有黄牛票的意思
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross：你在干嘛？
Chandler: (stops) I have no idea.
Chandler：（停手）我也不知道。
Joey: C’mon, Ross!
Joey：来吧，Ross！
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it’ll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross：好吧，好吧。也许我能换换心情，不过你要保证给我买一个大拇指。
//看比赛的时候他们都会在手指上套一个泡沫手掌，剧中很多地方都可以看到。
Chandler: You got it.
Chandler：没问题。
(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)
（Rachel跑过来，手中拿着一个大信封）
Rachel: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there’s my name! Hi, me!
Rachel：看，看，看，看，看，我第一次领薪水！看这个窗口，里面写了我的名字！Hi，我。
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Phoebe：我还记得我第一次领薪水的那天，矿井塌
方了，那一次死了八个人。
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Monica：哦，你那时在矿场工作？
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Phoebe：不，我在Dairy Queen冰淇淋店工作，怎么啦？
Rachel: God, isn’t this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel：天哪，心情很激动啊。这是我挣的，我擦桌子、煮牛奶、而这薪水简直…（打开信封）…太不值了。FICA是谁？他们干嘛拿走我所有的钱？看啊，Chandler，看这是怎么回事？
//FICA，Federal Insurance Contributions Act，联邦保险捐献行动
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Chandler：（看信）哦，也不是那么糟。
Joey: Oh, you’re fine, yeah, for a first job.
Joey：哦，对于第一份工作来说，你已经很不错啦。
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Ross：你靠这个已经完全可以生活了。
Monica: Yeah, yeah.
Monica：对啊，没错。
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Ross：哦，对了，今晚的服务非常好。
All: Oh! Yeah!
大家：哦！对！
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
（大家都拿出钱包给了非常大方的小费）
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel’s friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
男生们：曲棍球！（他们打算出门，不过被Rachel的三个朋友Leslie、Kiki还有Joanne挡住了，男生们停下来看这三个人）
Leslie: (looking around) Rachel?
Leslie：（环顾四周）Rachel？
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Rachel：哦，天哪！（Rachel、Leslie、Kiki还有Joanne尖叫着拥抱对方）
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I’ve seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Monica：（对Phoebe）我发誓我在野生动物园里看过这样的场景。
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Rachel：你们在这里干嘛？
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it’s true!
Kiki：嗯，我们进城来购物，你妈妈说你在这里上班，原来是真的。
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you’re in a play.
Joanne：看，你穿着围裙呢。你看起来好像在演戏。
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can’t believe it!
Rachel：（对着怀孕的Leslie）瞧你啊，都已经这么大了，我真不敢相信！
Leslie: I know. I know! I’m a duplex.
Leslie：我知道，我知道！我怀的双胞胎。
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what’s going on with you?
Rachel：（对Loanne）那么你最近如何？
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad’s making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)
Loanne：嗯，猜猜我爸现在在生意上和谁合作？（她指着自己，大家又开始尖叫）
Kiki: And while we’re on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Kiki：还有一个消息…（她举起手指亮出了订婚戒指，大家再次尖叫）
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
Phoebe：（对Monica）看啊，看啊，我有手肘！（她俩尖叫）