106,Part 1

106 The One With the Butt
106 屁股
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey’s to start.]
[场景:剧场,大伙坐在观众席上等Joey的演出开始]
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there’s Joey’s picture! This is so exciting!
Rachel:(阅读节目单)哦,瞧!瞧!瞧!瞧,这里有Joey的照片,太棒了!
Chandler: You can always spot someone who’s never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom…
Chandler:因为你以前没有看过他的节目,所以现在可以激动一下啊。注意,不要害怕,不要感觉像世界末日来临…
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y’know, it’s not just Freud, it’s Freud!
Phoebe:标题上的感叹号吓了我一跳。(打手势)你知道的,不仅仅是Freud,而是Freud。
(The lights dim.)
(灯光变暗了)
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Ross:哦,嘘,嘘。魔术就要开始了。
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
(舞台上的灯光亮了,演Freud的Joey正在和一个女演员谈话)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve’ve done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey:嗯,Eva,你在这里的工作做得棒极了,而我得说,你的问题相当明显。(他转为唱歌,并开始跳舞)
All you want is a dingle,
What you envy’s a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang…
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding.  As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
[场景:剧场,演出结束了,大家都在喝彩。演员离开后大家都发出了叹息声,并重重地坐下了]
Rachel: God. I feel violated.
Rachel:天哪,我感觉被伤害了。
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Monica:不知道其他人有没有觉得自己宁愿把自己的皮扒下来而不用看这个节目?
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o’clock.
Chandler:(盯着大厅对面的一位女士)Ross,十点钟方向。
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross:是吗?好像已经两点了。
//Chandler前面的台词也可以理解为“十点了”
Chandler: No, ten o’clock.
Chandler:不,十点钟方向。
Ross: What?
Ross:什么?
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There’s a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o’clock!
Chandler:(叹气并用手势解释)那边有个美女,就在八、九、十点钟方向。
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Ross:哦,哇!
Chandler: She’s amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Chandler:她太美了!她让我的梦中佳人像是矮小、肥胖的秃头男人。
Monica: Well, go over to her! She’s not with anyone.
Monica:嗯,过去打招呼啊,她又没有同伴。
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? ‘Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.’
Chandler:哦对啊,我该用什么做开场白呢?打扰一下,Blarrglarrghh?
Rachel: Oh, c’mon. She’s a person, you can do it!
Rachel:哦,拜托,她也是人,你可以做到的!
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Chandler:得了吧,她比我层次高多了。Ross,你说呢。
//back sb. up,支持
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Ross:他永远也得不到那样的女人。
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Chandler:谢谢,老兄。
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y’know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Phoebe:哦,哦,但是你们知道吗,我们总能看到一些非常美的美女身旁都是一些衰人,你也可能是这些衰人之一
Monica: You could do that!
Monica:你也可以的!
Chandler: Y’think?
Chandler:你们这样想?
All: Yeah!
大家:没错!
Chandler: Oh God, I can’t believe I’m even considering this… I’m very very aware of my tongue…
Chandler:哦,天哪,真不敢相信我还能这样想..我非常非常了解自己的层次…
Ross: C’mon! C’mon!
Ross:加油!加油!
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Chandler:好的。(他走了过去,但只是站在那里)
Aurora: …Yes?
Aurora:…有事吗?
Chandler: Hi…. um… okay, next word… would be… Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh…(He clears his throat noisily)…hi.
Chandler:你好…恩…好的,接下来…应该是…Chandler!Chandler是我的名字,恩…(他清了清喉咙)…你好。
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Aurora:是的,你说过了。
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn’t say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh… would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Chandler:是啊,是啊,我说过,但是我还没有说的是,我将要说,我想要说的是,恩…有时间的话你愿意和我约会吗?谢谢,晚安。(他走向其他人,但是她把她叫住了)
Aurora: Chandler?
Aurora:Chandler?
(Joey enters from behind a curtain.  The others all talk at once.)
(Joey从幕布后面出来,其他人开始一起说话)
All: Hey! You’re in a play! I didn’t know you could dance! You had a beard!
大家:嘿,你在演戏啊!我都不知道你还会跳舞!你还留胡须了!
Joey: Whadja think?
Joey:说什么呢?
(Pause)
(停顿)
All: …Hey! You’re in a play! I didn’t know you could dance! You had a beard!
大家:…嘿!你在演戏啊!我都不知道你还会跳舞!你还留胡须了!
Joey: C’mon, you guys, it wasn’t that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Joey:拜托,大伙们,没有那么糟吧,比上次唱歌的那个好多了吧,至少你们都看到我的头了。
All: (admitting) Saw your head. Saw your head.
大家:(承认)看到你的头了。看到你的头了。
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name’s Aurora, and she’s Italian, and she pronounces my name ‘Chand-lrr’. ‘Chand-lrr’. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Chandler:(走回去)她答应了!她答应了!(对Joey)演得太糟了,老兄,哦。(对大家)她叫Aurora,意大利人,她把我的名字念成“Chand-lrr”,“Chand-lrr”,我想这种叫法更好听。(对Joey)哦,听着,引坐员让我把这个给你。(他从口袋里掏出一张卡片)
Rachel: What is it?
Rachel:什么东西?
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Joey:Estelle Leonard天才代理,哦,有代理人给我名片!也许他们想和我签约!
Phoebe: Based on this play? …Based on this play!
Phoebe:就因为这场戏?…因为这场戏!
//语言文字这东西,有时候确实翻译不好。这里两句话原文虽然相同,但是语调不同,前一句使用升调,后一句使用降调,含义就完全不同了。
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
[场景:Central Perk,除了Chandler大家都在,Chandler进来了]
Chandler: Hey, kids.
Chandler:孩子们好。
All: Hey.
大家:嘿。
Phoebe: (reading Monica’s palm) No, ’cause this line is passion, and this is… just a line.
Phoebe:(给Monica看手相)不,因为这一条是爱情线,这一条指示一般的线。
Chandler: Well, I can’t believe I’ve been here almost seven seconds and you haven’t asked me how my date went.
Chandler:嗯,真不敢相信,我已经在这里七秒钟了,你们都没有问我今天的约会怎样了。
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, ‘Chand-lrr’?
Monica:哦,对啊,对啊。你今天的约会怎样,“Chand-lrr”?
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army…
Chandler:简直难以置信!我从没见过她那样的女人,她的生活丰富多彩极了!她还加如果以色列军队…
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
(倒叙Aurora和Chandler在Central Perk约会)
Aurora: …Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- …I’ve been talking about myself all night long, I’m sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Aurora:…幸亏子弹没有打中发动机盖,所以我们终于到达了边境,但是我…整个晚上都是我在说自己,对不起。你呢?说一说你的故事吧。
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn… just for the hell of it.
Chandler:好的,有一次我坐地铁,对了,是在晚上,我坐地铁去布鲁克林区…那里就好像地狱。
Chandler: We talked ’til like two. It was this perfect evening… more or less.
Chandler:我们一直谈到两点,那简直是一个完美的夜晚…差不多吧。
//这一句应该是现实中的事情了,下面接着倒叙。下文还要切换好几次场景
Aurora: …All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon.
Aurora:…突然我们意识到,我们正在也门。
Chandler: Oh, I’m sorry, so ‘we’ is?
Chandler:哦,对不起,“我们”是谁?
Aurora: ‘We’ would be me and Rick.
Aurora:“我们”是指我和Rick。
Joey: Who’s Rick?
Joey:Rick是谁?
Chandler: Who’s Rick?
Chandler:Rick是谁?
Aurora: My husband.
Aurora:我丈夫。
All: Ooooohhh.
大家:哦….
Chandler: Oh, so you’re divorced?
Chandler:哦,那么你已经离婚了?
Aurora: No.
Aurora:没有。
Chandler: Oh, I’m sorry, then you’re widowed?…Hopefully?
Chandler:哦,对不起,那么你是寡妇?…希望如此?
Aurora: No, I’m still married.
Aurora:不,我还是已婚的。
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?…Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Chandler:那么告诉我,你觉得,你觉得要是你丈夫发现你和我坐在这里,在我的大腿上摩擦你的脚,几乎可以数清楚我口袋里的零钱,你丈夫会怎么想?
Aurora: Don’t worry. I imagine he’d be okay with you because really, he’s okay with Ethan.
Aurora:别担心,我想他不会介意的,真的,因为Ethan他都不介意。
Chandler: Ethan? There’s, there’s an Ethan?
Chandler:Ethan?还有一个Ethan?
Aurora: Mmmm… Ethan is my… boyfriend.
Aurora:嗯…Ethan是我的…男朋友。
All: What?!
大家:啥?
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Chandler:那么给我解释一下吧,恩,如果你已经有了一个丈夫和一个男朋友,那么你觉得咱俩的关系是什么?
Aurora: I suppose mainly sexual.
Aurora:我希望只是性关系。
Chandler: …Hm.
Chandler:…哦。
Monica: Oh. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.
Monica:哦,对不起,这次没成功。
Chandler: What ‘not work out’? I’m seeing her again on Thursday. Didn’t you listen to the story?
Chandler:什么没成功?我周四还要见她呢。你没听懂我说的吗?
Monica: Didn’t you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Monica:你听懂了吗?我是说,她太博爱了!你怎么会惹上这种女人呢?
Chandler: Well, y’know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy’s fantasy!
Chandler:嗯,你知道么,刚开始我也有点没法接受,但是我仔细想了想,这里还是有很多好处的:全部都是好玩、聊天,还有做爱,不用付一点责任。我是说,这是每个男人的梦想!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Phoebe:哦,是啊。这肯定不是真的。Ross,这是你的梦想吗?
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) …Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross:不,当然不是!(考虑了一下)…是啊,怎么会不是呢。
Monica: What? So you guys don’t mind going out with someone else who’s going out with someone else?
Monica:啥?那么你们男人不介意自己交往的对象还在同时和别人交往吗?
Joey: I couldn’t do it.
Joey:我做不到。
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Monica:好样的,Joey。
Joey: When I’m with a woman, I need to know that I’m going out with more people than she is.
Joey:如果我在和一个女人交往,我需要知道她只在和我一个人交往。
Ross: Well, y’know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking-
Ross:嗯,你知道的,一夫一妻制,恩,是一种很复杂的概念,我是说,以人类学角度来看…
(They all pretend to fall asleep.)
(大家都假装睡着了)
Ross: Fine. Fine, alright, now you’ll never know.
Ross:算了,算了,好吧,你们永远也不会了解了。
Monica: We’re kidding. C’mon, tell us!
Monica:我们在开玩笑呢,算了,告诉我们吧!
All: Yeah! C’mon!
大家:是啊,说吧!
Ross: Alright. There’s a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Ross:好吧。有一种理论,是Richard Leakey提出的…
(They all fall asleep again.)
(大家再次装睡)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
[场景:Monica和Rachel家,Rachel在家,除了Joey大家都进来了]
Rachel: Tah-daaah!
Rachel:Tah-daaah!
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? ‘Cause I like that.
Chandler:我们现在都这样和人打招呼了吗?因为我挺喜欢这样的。
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors… I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don’t know what that’s for.
Rachel:看啊!我打扫卫生了!我擦了窗户,扫了地…我甚至还用了吸尘器上所有的按钮,除了毛刷旁的小圆按钮,我不知道那是干嘛的。
//呵呵,Do这个词的含义还真多啊
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we’re not supposed to ask.
Ross:是啊,没人知道,而且我们最好也不要问。
Rachel: Well, whaddya think?
Rachel:那么,觉得怎么样?
All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!
大家:非常干净!看起来棒极了!太好了!
Monica: …Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.
Monica:…哦,我看到你移动了这个绿椅子。
All: Uh-oh…
大家:啊噢…
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Monica:这是怎么回事?
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it’s an ext
ra seat around the coffee table.
Rachel:我不知道…我觉得这个放在这里更好,这样咖啡桌旁就多出了一个座位。
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it’s interesting.. but y’know what? Just for fun, let’s see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let’s see. Well, it looks good there too. Let’s just leave it there for a while.
Monica:是啊,是啊,是挺有趣…(她把椅子挪了回去)好歹额,只是做个比较,让我们看看,恩,放在这里也不错。还是把它放在这里一段时间吧。
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can’t believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Phoebe:(对Rachel)我不敢相信你竟然移动了她的绿椅子。
Chandler: Thank God you didn’t try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she’ll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler:还好你没有弄乱她的杂志,否则她一定会把你的眼珠挖出来。
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Monica:你们几个,我没有那么糟吧!
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y’know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Phoebe:没错,你就是那么糟,Monica。还记得吗,我和你在一起住的时候,你就好像,一个小,你知道的(神经兮兮的)Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Monica: That is so unfair!
Monica:太不公平了!
Ross: Oh c’mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn’t raggedy!
Ross:哦,拜托,当咱俩还小的时候,你的烂娃娃是唯一不烂的。
Monica: Okay, so I’m responsible, I’m organised. But hey, I can be a kook.
Monica:好吧,那么我很有责任感,很有组织纪律。但是,嘿,我也可以很懒散的。
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don’t pay it right away.
Ross:好的,你这个狂妄的女人。想像这样的场景,电话账单已经来了,但是你并不立刻去交费。
Monica: Why not?
Monica:为什么不去?
Ross: Because you’re a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Ross:因为你是个懒散的人!相反你会等他们寄催缴欠费的通知。
Monica: I could do that.
Monica:我可以做到的。
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it’s not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Rachel:好的,嗯,你让我去买杂货,我买回了洗衣粉,但是盒子上没有简易拉口。
Monica: Why would someone do that?! …One might wonder.
Monica:为什么会有人这样做?…可能会纳闷一点。
Chandler: Someone’s left a glass on the coffee table. There’s no coaster. It’s a cold drink, it’s a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood…
Chandler:有人在咖啡桌上留下了一个玻璃杯,没有放杯垫。被子里装了冷饮料,而天气很热,凝结的水珠正在向下滚,越来越接近桌面…
Monica: STOP IT!! …Oh my God. It’s true! Who am I?
Monica:住口!…哦我的天哪,是真的,我是谁?
Ross: Monica? You’re Mom.
Ross:Monica,你是妈妈。
(Monica gasps.)
(Monica喘气)
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Phoebe:Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!Ree!
(Joey enters and he’s on the phone.)
(Joey进来了,正在打电话)
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh… oh my God! Okay! Okay, I’ll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job…in the new Al Pacino movie!
Joey:(将电话)恩,恩…哦我的天哪!好的!好的,我会去的!(他挂掉电话,对大家说)是我的代理人,(他抛起并接住电话)我的代理人给我找了个工作,在Al Pacino的新电影里演出。
All: Oh my God! Whoah!
大家:哦,我的天哪!哇!
Monica: Well, what’s the part?
Monica:那么演什么角色?
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy’s the reason I became an actor! "I’m out of order? Pfeeeh. You’re out of order! This whole courtroom’s out of order!"
Joey:你们相信么?Al Pacino!我就是因为他才立志当演员的!“我失控了,Pfeeeh,你也失控了!整个法庭都失控了!”
Phoebe: Seriously, what-what’s the part?
Phoebe:说真的,演什么角色?
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Joey:“就当我以为我已经出来的时候,他们又把我拉进去了!”
Ross: C’mon, seriously, Joey, what’s the part?
Ross:拜托,说真的,Joey,演什么角色?
Joey: …I’m his (mumbles)
Joey:…我是他的(咕哝)
Rachel: ..You’re, you’re ‘mah mah mah’ what?
Rachel:…你是,你是,恩,恩,啥?
Joey: …I’m his butt double. ‘Kay? I play Al Pacino’s butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I’m his butt.
Joey:…我是他的屁股,好了?我扮演Al Pacino的屁股。行了吧,他去洗澡,然后,我就是他的屁股。
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Monica:(忍住笑)哦我的天哪。
Joey: C’mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino’s in it, and that’s big!
Joey:拜托,你们几个,这是一部真正的电影,而且Al Pacino也有演,阵容相当庞大!
Chandler: Oh no, it’s terrific, it’s… it’s… y’know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you’ve finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Chandler:哦不,太恐怖了,简直…简直…你知道的,这时你应得的,你已经努力了这么多年,最后终于可以进军演艺事业了。
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don’t care! This is a big break for me!
Joey:好的,好的,算了!嘲笑我吧,我不在乎,这对我来说就是一个大进步。
Ross: You’re right, you’re right, it is…So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Ross:你说的没错,你说的没错。那么..你准备邀请我们参加首映礼吗?

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