109，Part 3

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
[场景：Central Perk，Joey进来了，大家都在偷笑]
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
Joey：那么我猜你们都看到了。
Rachel: Saw what?
Rachel：看到什么？
Phoebe: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.
Phoebe：没有，我们只是笑笑而已。你知道么，笑声是会传染的。
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Joey enters, upset.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，Joey进来了，很沮丧]
Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
Joey：我要另找一个地方过感恩节了，我全家人都以为我得了性病。
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.
Chandler：今晚，特殊的鲜花怒放。
//VD，花柳病，呵呵
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，Monica正在做感恩节晚饭，Chandler正站在门旁，一点也没有表现出节日里的喜悦]
Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider’s mulling, turkey’s turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?
Monica：嗯，看起来很不错。好了，苹果汁已经榨好了，火鸡也成土耳其式的了，土豆也好了。（注意到Ross很沮丧）怎么了？
Ross: I don’t know. It’s just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
Ross：我不知道，只是不像是妈妈在厨房里的那种感觉。
Monica: All right, that’s it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.
Monica：好的，我知道了。你知道么，别在这里碍事，也别闷闷不乐了。
Ross: That’s closer.
Ross：现在有点像了。
(Rachel enters, excited.)
（Rachel进来了，很兴奋）
Rachel: I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.
Rachel：我买到票了！我买到票了！再过四个小时，咻、咻、咻。
//票可真好买啊，不知道有没有找票贩子…
Chandler: Oh, you must stop shooping.
Chandler：哦，你别再“咻”了吧。
Rachel: Ok, I’m gonna get my stuff.
Rachel：好的，我要去收拾东西了。
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey：Chandler，你准备一起过节了吗？
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
Chandler：不，我宁愿和这些喜庆保持安全距离。
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler’s face.)
（Phoebe拿起一片南瓜馅饼在Chandler面前晃）
Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!
Phoebe：看啊，南瓜馅饼！
Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that’s not funny anymore.
Chandler：算了，虽然你填料的时候我们大家都笑了，不过现在已经不再可笑了。
(Chandler leaves.)
（Chandler走了）
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don’t see any tater tots.
Joey：嘿，Monica，我有一个问题，我怎么没看到土豆泥？
//金山词霸说tater就是口语里的Potato，so…
Monica: That’s not a question.
Monica：这可不是什么问题。
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It’s like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It’s bad enough I can’t be with my family because of my disease.
Joey：但我妈妈都会做的，这是我家的一项传统。用叉子叉起一小片火鸡，抹上一点酸梅酱，然后再加土豆泥！我因为疾病不能和家人在一起已经够倒霉的了。
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight’s potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Monica：好吧，好吧，今晚的土豆分别要切块，还要做土豆泥。
Ross: Ok, I’m off to talk to my unborn child.
Ross：好吧，我要去看看我还没有出生的孩子了。
(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)
（Ross伸手去抓食物，Monica把他的手打开了）
Monica: Ah!
Monica：啊！
Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.
Ross：算了，妈妈从不这样。
(Ross exits.)
（Ross离开）
Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.
Phoebe：（忙完了）好了，全部搞定。
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
Monica：什么，Phoebe，你把土豆全都捣烂了吗？Ross要吃土豆块呢！
Phoebe: Oh, I’m sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
Phoebe：哦，对不起，哦，我只是，我以为咱们要把土豆捣碎，然后加豆子和洋葱呢。
Monica: Why would we do that?
Monica：咱们为啥要那样做？
Phoebe: Well, ’cause then they’d be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Phoebe：嗯，因为我妈妈以前就是这样做的，知道么，在她死之前。
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
Monica：哦，已经出现三种做法了。
Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!
Rachel：好了，大家再见。谢谢你们的帮助。（她准备离开，但不小心用她的雪橇打中了每个人）哦，对不起！哦，对不起！
(Chandler enters, running.)
（Chandler跑着进来了）
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Chandler：刚才发生了一件最不可思议的事情，Underdog逃跑了。
//呵呵，这里又有一个双关语，Underdog有“受压迫者”的意思，但在这里是在说游行节目中的狗形状气球。而Get away除了有逃跑的意思外，还可以理解为觉醒。那么本集的标题除了表示游行气球“Underdog”逃跑之外，还可以表示（在做饭上）被迫接受大家无理要求的Monica的觉醒，因为她下面就要发飙了。而Chanlder进来以及说这句话的时间也很巧妙，Monica刚刚得知自己将要在一顿饭里把土豆用三种做法做出来，可能正不爽呢，然后Chandler就来了…，Friends的编剧好厉害
Joey: The balloon?
Joey：气球？
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It’s all over the news. Right before he reached Macy’s, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I’m goin’ to the roof, who’s with me?
Chanlder：不，不，那个卡通角色。当然是气球了，新闻里到处都在说，它刚刚经过梅西百货，现在正在经过华盛顿广场公园。我要去屋顶上看，谁和我一起去？
Rachel: I can’t, I gotta go.
Rachel：我不能去，我要走了。
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Chandler：来吧，80尺的充气狗失控在城市里飘，这种事发生的概率有多少？
Phoebe: Almost never.
Phoebe：几乎不会发生。
Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!
Monica：拿钥匙了吗？那钥匙吧！
Rachel: Ok.
Rachel：哦。
(Everyone leaves the apartment.)
（大家都离开了房间）
[Scene: Carol and Susan’s, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
[场景：Carol和Susan家，Ross正准备对着Carol的肚子说话]
Carol: Anytime you’re ready.
Carol：随时都可以。
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but…
Ross：好的，好的，就开始。（他趴下靠近Carol的肚子）好了，我要对着哪里说啊？我是说，恩，恩，似乎只有一个通道可以传递声波，但是…
//这家伙想什么呢… -_-

Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Carol：只要对准正前方就可以了。
Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can’t do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.
Ross：好的，好的，好的，好的，开始了。你知道吗，我，你知道么，我做不到。恩，这太奇怪了，我觉得自己很蠢。
Carol: So don’t do it, it’s fine. You don’t have to do it just because Susan does it.
Carol：那就别做了，没关系的。你不必因为Susan这样做了自己也一定要这样做。
Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.
Ross：（马上开始讲话）你好，孩子，你好，你好。
//做人做到Ross这份上，真够可怜的了。
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, the group is coming back from the roof.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，大家从屋顶上下来了。]
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
Rachel：刚看到这只大狗的影子覆盖公园，感觉真好玩。
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Phoebe：是啊，但是他们会开枪打它下来么？我是说，这简直太残忍了。（感谢http://spaces.msn.com/xpxdxqxz/ 这位朋友指出这句话的错误）
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Monica：好了，现在火鸡的外皮应该已经很脆了，而里面也应该很多汁了，咱们还站在外面干嘛？
Rachel: We’re waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Rachel：我们在等你开门啊，钥匙不是你拿着么？
Monica: No I don’t.
Monica：我没有拿啊。
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Rachel：你拿了。咱们刚才出去的时候，你说了，“拿钥匙了”。
Monica: No I didn’t. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Monica：不，我没有说，我是在问，“拿钥匙了—吗”。
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Rachel：不，不，不，你说的是，“拿钥匙了。”
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Chandler：那么你俩都没有拿钥匙了？
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Monica：（开始惊慌）烤箱还开着呢。
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!
Rachel：哦，我还要拿我的机票！
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Joey：等等，等等，我们家也有你们家的钥匙。
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Monica：那就去拿呀，赶紧！
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Joey：这种语气可不能加快我的速度。
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Monica：（生气了）Joey！
Joey: That one will.
Joey：这个就可以了。
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
（Joey离开去拿钥匙）
[Scene: Carol and Susan’s, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
[场景：Carol和Susan家，Carol正在看书，Ross正在对着她的肚子说话]
Ross: And everyone’s telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I’m saying, because, let’s face it, you’re a fetus. You’re just happy you don’t have gills anymore.
Ross：那就像每个人跟你说的，你必须选一门主课，你必须选一门主课，所以，为了挑战他们，我就选了古生物学。你肯定还不知道我在说什么，因为，咱们面对事实吧，你现在还是胎儿，你因该正在为你没有鳃了而感到高兴呢。
Carol: Look, you don’t have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Carol：瞧啊，你也不必一直给它说话，如果愿意，你还可以唱歌。
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Ross：哦，拜托，我不会对着你的肚子唱歌的，知道吗？
(Susan enters.)
（Susan进来了）
Susan: Hi, how’s it goin?
Susan：嗨，怎样了？
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin’ down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Ross：嘘！（开始唱）我们来了，沿着街道走，看起来非常滑稽，所有人都看到了。嘿，嘿！（对Carol）嘿，恩，你刚才感觉到了吗？
Carol: I did.
Carol：感觉到了。
Ross: Does it always, uh–?
Ross：它是不是一直，恩…？
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Carol：不，不，这是第一次。
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan：继续唱！继续唱！
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you’re my baby, and I can’t wait to meet you. When you come out I’ll buy you a bagel, and then we’ll go to the zoo.
Ross：（唱）嘿，嘿，你是我的宝贝，我等不及要见你。等你出来后，我会给你买百吉饼，然后咱们去动物园。
Susan: I felt it!
Susan：我感觉到了。
Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I’m your daddy. I’m the one without any breasts.
Ross：（唱）嘿，嘿，我是你的爸爸，是没有乳房的那个。
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
[场景：走廊里，Joey拿来了一个装满钥匙的抽屉，正在试着用每一个开锁]
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey：不是，不是这个。
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
Monica：你能快一点吗？
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Joey：嘿，这里只有一个钥匙孔，却有无数的钥匙，你自己算算。
Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?
Monica：但你俩为啥会有这么多钥匙呢？
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Chandler：（讽刺地）就是为了应付类似现在的紧急情况。
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn’t for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I’m not.
Rachel：（抓起Chandler的衬衫）好了，听着，傻笑的这位。要不是你和你那个愚蠢的气球，我现在已经在飞机上，看那些空姐这样了（做出空姐演示如何逃生的手势），但是我现在还在这里！
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Monica：我发誓当时你说你拿钥匙了。
Rachel: No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn’t have the keys.
Rachel：不，我没有。如果我没有拿钥匙，我就不会说我拿钥匙了，而很明显我并没有拿钥匙。
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that’s it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
Phoebe：哦，好吧，到此为止，要是已经说够了，现在不准谁再说钥匙。
(Short pause.)
（短暂停顿）
Monica: Why would I have the keys?
Monica：为什么非得我拿钥匙？
Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?
Rachel：因为正是你说了拿钥匙了。
Monica: But I didn’t.
Monica：但是我没有。
Rachel: Well, you should have.
Rachel：嗯，你说了。
Monica: Why?
Monica：为什么？
Rachel: Because!
Rachel：因为！
Monica: Why?
Monica：为什么？
Rachel: Because!
Rachel：因为！
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn’t it enough that I’m making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I’m making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it’s my first Thanksgiving, and it’s all burned, and, and I… I…
Monica：为什么？因为每件事都是我的责任？我为每个人做感恩节晚�
�还不够吗？你知道吗，每个人都要不同方法做的土豆，所以我就要做不同方法的土豆，有人关心过我想吃怎样做的土豆吗？没有~~~~，没有，没有！（开始哭）Phoebe要加了豆子和洋葱的，Mario要土豆泥，而这才是我第一次做感恩节晚餐，现在恐怕全部都焦了，我，我…我…
//可怜的Monica，终于发泄出来了，而哭的时候还不忘用Joey在性病广告里的人物名称来恶搞，呵呵…
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door’s open. Here we go.
Chandler：好了，Monica，你现在的声音只有狗才能听出是什么，那么，瞧啊，门开了，咱们进去吧。
(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)
（他们进去了，屋子里全都是烟）
Monica: Well, the turkey’s burnt. (checking pots) Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined.
Monica：这下好，火鸡已经焦了。（查看土豆）土豆也毁了，土豆也毁了，土豆也毁了。
//因为土豆有三种做法，所以各自检查，然后每个都毁了，哈哈，还是不忘搞笑。
(Ross enters, singing.)
（Ross唱着歌进来了）
Ross: Here we come, walkin’ down the—this doesn’t smell like Mom’s.
Ross：我们来了，沿着…这闻起来也不像妈妈。
Monica: No, it doesn’t, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
Monica：不，不像，对吧。但你不是想要土豆块么，Ross？（抓起装了烧焦成一大块的土豆的平底锅）给你吧，兄弟，你的做好了。
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I’m stuck here with you guys.
Rachel：哦，天哪，简直太好了，飞机已经起飞了，似乎我只能和你们几个一起过节了。
Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody’s first choice.
Joey：嘿，我们本来都有更好的计划的，每个在这里的人都不是这样计划的。
Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?
Monica：哦，真的？那我为啥为了给你们做可口的感恩节晚饭要忙到火烧屁股？
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey：你把这叫做可口的？
(all shouting)
（都开始喊叫）
Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Monica：住嘴！住嘴！住嘴！
Chandler: Now this feels like Thanksgiving.
Chandler：现在感觉才像感恩节了。
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
[时间流逝，每个人都因为别人感到心烦意乱，Phoebe坐在窗口]
Phoebe: Ooh.
Phoebe：哦。
Rachel: What?
Rachel：怎么了？
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy’s taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He’s not alone. Ugly Naked Guy’s having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
Phoebe：裸体丑陋男正在从烤箱里拿出火鸡。哦我的天哪，他不是一个人，裸体丑陋男正准备和裸体丑陋女一起吃感恩节晚餐。
(They all run to the window.)
（他们都跑向窗口）
Joey: I’ve gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey：我已经看够了，裸体丑陋男加油！
Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!
Monica：哦，裸体丑陋舞蹈！
Phoebe: It’s nice that he has someone.
Phoebe：他有人陪伴真好。
[Time lapse. The gang is around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]
[时间流逝，大伙都围坐在桌前，准备吃烤干酪三明治]
Chandler: Shall I carve?
Chandler：我切了？
Rachel: By all means.
Rachel：随便你。
Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?
Chandler：好的，谁要浅色的干酪，谁要深色的？
Ross: I don’t even wanna know about the dark cheese.
Ross：我根本不想看到深色干酪。
Monica: (holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?
Monica：（拿着三明治）有人想和我分这块吗？
Joey: Oh, I will.
Joey：哦，我来吧。
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Phoebe：哦，你们俩得许个愿。
Monica: Make a wish?
Monica：许愿？
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What’d you wish for?
Phoebe：来吧，这就是要感恩啊。哦，你的这一半比较大，你许了什么愿？
Joey: The bigger half.
Joey：让我拿到比较大的一半。
Chandler: I’d like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn’t the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn’t involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you’d gone to Vail, and if you guys’d been with your family, if you didn’t have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn’t be all together, you know? So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler：我想要祝酒辞。一个小的辞，叮叮。我知道这不是你们本来计划要过的感恩节，但是对于我来说，这样真的很好，你们知道吗，因为这一次不会牵扯到任何离婚或者呕吐之类的事情。无论如何，我正在想，我是说，如果你去了Vail，而你们几个都和家人在一起，如果你没有得梅毒之类的东西，咱们就不可能聚在一起了，是吧。所以我想我要说的就是，我真感谢你们的感恩节都搞砸了。
All: That’s so sweet.
大家：说得真好。
Ross: And hey, here’s to a lousy Christmas.
Ross：对了，嘿，祝大家都有一个恶心的圣诞节。
Rachel: And a crappy New Year.
Rachel：还有一个无聊的新年。
Chandler: Here, here!
Chandler：好啊！
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Bladder Control Problem
Stop Wife Beating
Hemorrhoids?
Winner of 3 Tony Awards…
He’s finally happy with that and walks away.]
[场景：地铁站，Joey看到了他的海报，他几次撕掉了海报下方的文字，不过却漏出了下面覆盖的海报上的文字，这些文字分别是：
膀胱失控
防止被妻子暴打
有痔疮？
三次托尼奖获得者…
这一次他终于满意了，于是离开了。]
End
结束