110 The One With the Monkey
110 猴子
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Ross is entering.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，Ross进来了]
Ross: Guys? There’s a somebody I’d like you to meet.
Ross：大伙，我想跟你们介绍一位新人。
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
（一只猴子跳到了他的肩上）
All: Oooh!
大家：哦！
Monica: W-wait. What is that?
Monica：等-等等，那是什么？
Ross: ‘That’ would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Ross：这是Marcel，你想跟他打个招呼么？
Monica: No, no, I don’t.
Monica：不，不，我不想。
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Rachel：哦，真是太宝贵了，你从哪里弄到的？
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Ross：我朋友Bethel从某个实验室里救出来的。
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Phoebe：真是才残忍了，为什么？为什么会有父母给自己的孩子起名叫Bethel？
Chandler: Hey, that monkey’s got a Ross on its ass!
Chandler：嘿，那只猴子的屁股上长了一个Ross！
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
Monica：Ross，他要和你住在一起么？恩，住在你家里？
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it’s been kinda quiet since Carol left, so…
Ross：是啊，我是说，Carol已经离开我很久了，所以…
Monica: Why don’t you just get a roommate?
Monica：你为什么不找一个室友？
Ross: Nah, I dunno… I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ….sorry, that’s, that’s ‘pathet’, which is Sanskrit for ‘really cool way to live’.
Ross：不，我不想…我觉得当你到一定岁数后，还和室友住在一起似乎有点pathe…（突然意识到）…对不起，我是说“pathet”，在梵语里的意思是“非常酷的生活方式”。
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
[场景：Central Perk，Phoebe准备好唱歌了，Joey不在场]
Phoebe: So you guys, I’m doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother’s suicide, and one about a snowman.
Phoebe：你们几个，我昨晚写了一些新歌。我这里有12首新歌是关于我妈妈的自杀的，另外还有一首关于雪人的歌。
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Chandler：最好先唱关于雪人的那个。
(Enter Joey)
（Joey进来了）
All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.
大家：嘿，Joey。嘿，伙计。
Monica: So, how’d it go?
Monica：嗯，怎样了？
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn’t get the job.
Joey：啊，我没有得到那个工作。
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
Ross：怎么会没有得到？你去年不就扮演的圣诞老人吗？
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy’s sleeping with the store manager. He’s not even jolly, it’s all political.
Joey：我不知道。有个胖子和商店经理睡了，他甚至一点都不活泼，不过有后台。
Monica: So what are you gonna be?
Monica：那你今年扮演什么？
Joey: Ah, I’m gonna be one of his helpers. It’s just such a slap in the face, y’know?
Joey：啊，我将会扮演他的一个助手，这简直是当头一棒，你们明白么？
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you’re doing for New Year’s? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year’s?
Rachel：嘿，你们几个准备怎么过新年？（大家都抗议，并用椅垫子打她）天哪，怎么回事？新年有什么问题吗？
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don’t have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I’m talking loud!
Chandler：你倒好了，你有Paolo，你不用面对这种糟糕的节日压力：在绝望中挣扎，希望能找到一个有嘴唇的生物，这样在球掉下来的时候就可以接吻了！哎呀，我说得有点太大声了。
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I’ll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Rachel：嗯，跟你说一下，Paolo在新年期间会在罗马，所以我和你们几个一样可怜。
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!
Phoebe：是啊，你想得美！
Chandler: It’s just that I’m sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
Chandler：我只是不想再成为Dick Clark假日的受害者。要我说，今年，不约会，咱们定一个协议，就咱们六个吃晚餐。
All: Yeah, okay. Alright.
大家：哦，好呀，可以。
Chandler: Y’know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Chandler：知道么，我倒是期望有哪怕一点点的喜悦。
All: Woooo! Yeah!
大家：wo~~~~~~~~，Yeah！
Rachel: Phoebe, you’re on.
Rachel：Phoebe，你该上台了。
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Phoebe：哦，哦，好的。
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Rachel：（对着麦克风）OK，嗨，女士们、先生们，应大家要求，请欢迎Phoebe Buffay小姐，Wooh！
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Phoebe：（接过麦克风）谢谢，嗨。恩，首先我想要唱一首对现在的我意义非凡的歌。（她通过摇铃作为开场）（唱：）
I made a man with eyes of coal
我用煤当眼球堆了一个雪人
And a smile so bewitchin’,
他有迷人的笑容
How was I supposed to know
可我怎么能忘记
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
我妈妈在厨房中自杀的情景
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la…
（摇铃）啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦….
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
（镜头切换到稍后的场景，大家都变得很沮丧了）
Phoebe: (Sung)
Phoebe：（唱）
…My mother’s ashes
…我妈妈的骨灰
Even her eyelashes
还有她的眼睫毛
Are resting in a little yellow jar,
都装在一个小黄罐子里
And sometimes when it’s breezy…
在有风的时候…
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
（在Phoebe的歌声中，大家听到了两个科学家，Max和David正在大声讨论）
Phoebe: (Sung)
Phoebe：（唱）
…I feel a little sneezy
…我有点想打喷嚏
And now I- (abruptly stops)
而我现在…（突然停下）
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
打扰一下，打扰一下！恩，吵闹的男生们！（他们停止说话，看她）有什么事情可以和在座的各位分享一下的吗？
Max: No. No, that’s- that’s okay.
Max：不，不，没，没有。
Phoebe: Well, c’mon, if it’s important enough to discuss while I’m playing, then I assume it’s important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe：嗯，拜托，如果这事情都已经重要到非要打断我的表演了，那么我想也已经足够到可以和大家分享了吧！
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy’s going home with a note!
Chandler：（静静地对旁人说）这家伙可是被上了一课。
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-
David：没什么，我，我只是对我…
Phoebe: Could you speak up please?
Phoebe：能说大声点吗？
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I’d ever seen in my- in my life. And then
he said that- you said you thought
David：（站起来大声说话）对不起，我，我只是在对我朋友说，我觉得你是我这一生见过的最漂亮的女人，然后他说，你说你觉得…
Max: Daryl Hannah.
Max：Daryl Hannah。
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he’d ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
David：Daryl Hannah是他这一生见过的最漂亮的女人，然后我就说，是啊，我喜欢她会挥霍这一点，但是在，在华尔街就不怎么喜欢了，我觉得她有点，恩
//呵呵，Wall Street更是一个挣钱的地方咯，在这里还是喜欢会挣钱的人吧
Max: Hard quality.
Max：固执。
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that’s when you started yelling. (Sits down)
David：-固执。还有，嗯，虽然Daryl Hannah有种流行的每，但你全身都散发着难得的古典美。然后，恩，然后，然后你就开始喊叫了。（坐下）
Phoebe: Okay, we’re gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Phoebe：好的，咱们稍微休息一会吧。（走向他们的桌子）
Joey: Hey, that guy’s going home with more than a note!
Joey：嘿，到那家伙回家的时候估计已经被上了很多课了！
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
[场景：Monica和Rachel家，除了Joey大家都在装饰圣诞树]
Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)
Ross：过来，Marcel，坐这里。（Marcel跑开了）
Rachel: Pheebs, I can’t believe he hasn’t kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! …Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Rachel：Pheebs，我真不敢相信他还没有吻你，我是说，天哪，当我和Paolo第六次约会的时候，我是说，他都已经给我的双峰起好名字了！…哦，我是不是扯得太远了？
Ross: Just a smidge.
Ross：稍微有一点。
Phoebe: David’s like, y’know, Scientist Guy. He’s very methodical.
Phoebe：David就像，你知道的，典型的科学家，他非常有条理。
Monica: I think it’s romantic.
Monica：我觉得很浪漫。
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Phoebe：我也是！哦！你们看过军官与绅士这部电影吗？
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel：当然！
Phoebe: Well, he’s kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he’s smarter, and gentler, and sweeter… I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day… and special occasions…
Phoebe：嗯，他就有点像和我一起去看这部电影的男生。除了，除了他更聪明，也更温柔，还更甜蜜…我只是，我只是想整天和他呆在一起，日日夜夜、夜夜日日…还有一些特殊场合…
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you’re gonna ask him to New Year’s, aren’t you. You’re gonna break the pact. She’s gonna break the pact.
Chandler：等一下，等一下，我知道是怎么回事了，你想和他一起共度新年，是不是？你要违反约定，她要违反约定了！
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?
Phoebe：不是，不是，不是，不是。是啊，我可以吗？
Chandler: Yeah, ’cause I already asked Janice.
Chandler：可以呀，因为我已经约了Janice了。
Monica: What?!
Monica：啥？！
Ross: C’mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Ross：拜托，咱们有协议的，还是你定的！
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn’t handle the pressure and I snapped.
Chandler：我反悔了，不行吗？我受不了这种压抑，所以我反悔了。
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Monica：是啊，但是和Janice？之前，之前你们还进行了一次有史以来最糟糕的分手呢。
Chandler: I’m not saying it was a good idea, I’m saying I snapped!
Chandler：我没有说这是个好主意，我只是说我反悔了！