112

112 The One With the Dozen Lasagnes
112 一堆烤宽面条

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[场景:Central Perk,大家都在。Ross正在做填字游戏,开始哼Odd Couple的主题曲,接着Chandler开始一起哼,最后Monica和Phoebe也加入了,接着大伙一起哼。随后Ross又开始哼]I Dream Of Jeannie的主题曲。
//Odd Couple,电影名称,中文名可以翻译作“单身公寓”。I Dream Of Jeannie,电影名称,中文名可以翻译作“梦见珍妮”
Chandler: No-no-no-no, we’re done.
Chandler:不,不,不,不,不玩了。
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
[场景:Monica和Rachel家,Monica正在厨房里打电话]
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I’m saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat’s only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Monica:Syl阿姨,别喊了!我想说的只是,如果你跟我说过你要的是素烤宽面条,我就会给你做素烤宽面条。(暂停,听电话里的人说话)恩,肉只是在每盘面条的第三层,也许你可以把它们刮掉。
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
(镜头切换到Chandler、Phoebe、Ross和Joey坐着的客厅中)
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Joey:Ross,你真的把这些育儿的书都看过了?
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman’s uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Ross:当然!你可以把我放在女人子宫的任何位置,不用指南针我都能自己找到出来的路!(弹手指)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool…it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe:哦,这真是太酷了…这上面说,世界上有些地方的人会吃胎盘(Joey开始做鬼脸)
Chandler: And, we’re done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Chandler:好了,我们的酸奶也吃完了。(把酸奶盒子放在桌上)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Phoebe:(温柔地)对不起。(镜头切换回Monica,依然在讲电话)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica:Syl阿姨,我是把这个当作爱好来做的,我又不是专门包办伙食的。你想让我把这一堆烤宽面条怎么办?(听Syl阿姨讲电话,看起来很震惊)说得好,Syl阿姨。(用纽约口音)你就用那样的嘴亲Freddie叔叔呢?
(Camera pans back to group in living room)
(镜头切换回客厅里的一群人)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby’s only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey:嘿,Ross,听着,你知道吗,现在,你的孩子只有这么大?(用他的食指和拇指比出2英寸的长度)这就是你的孩子,(用孩子的声音)嗨,爸爸!
Ross: (waves) Hello!
Ross:(挥手)你好!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don’t live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What’s a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Joey:(用孩子的声音)你为什么不和妈妈住在一起?(暂停,Ross做出了有点不愉快的表情)妈妈为什么和别的女人住在一起?(暂停,Ross看起来依然有点不愉快,Joey笑)女同志是什么?(开玩笑地打了Ross)
(Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed)
(Rachel和Paolo进来了,正在说意大利文。Ross看上去很苦恼)
Rachel: Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it’s like Poc-o-nos (touching Paolo’s nose with forefinger with each syllable)
Rachel:亲爱的,你可以说得,Poconos,Poconos,就像说Poc-o-nos(每说一个音节就用食指摸Paolo的鼻子)
//Poconos,美国宾夕法尼亚州的一个地名。
Paolo: Ah, poke (Paolo touches Rachel’s nose) a (touches nose again) nose, mmm (they rub noses, then kisses her)
Paolo:啊,Poke(Paolo摸Rachel的鼻子)a(又摸了一次鼻子)nose,恩(他们碰了碰鼻子,然后亲她)。
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
Joey、Chandler和Ross:(坐在客厅里,模仿Paolo)Mma、Mma、Mmaah。
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
(镜头切换到厨房里的Rachel、Monica和Phoebe)
Monica: So, did I hear Poconos?
Monica:那么,我听到的是不是Poconos?
Rachel: Yes, my sister’s giving us her place for the weekend.
Rachel:是啊,我姐姐给我们提供的地方在那里过周末。
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe:呜-呼,第一次一起出远门过周末!
Monica: Yeah, that’s a big step.
Monica:是啊,真是迈进了很大的一步。
Rachel: I know…
Rachel:我知道…
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
(镜头转向Ross,看起来很沮丧)
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it’s just a weekend, big deal!
Chandler:(对Ross)啊,只是一个周末而已,没什么大不了的。
Ross: Wasn’t this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn’t it be…(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Ross:这难道不应该只是一时的激情吗?哈?这难道不应该是…(激动地挥舞双手)一时激情?
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(镜头转向Rachel)
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I’ve only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I’m with him, I’m totally, totally…
Rachel:我的意思是,我们已经过了一时激情这种情况了,我是说,我现在的感觉以前只有在Danielle Steele的书中才出现过,你们知道吗?我是说,当我和他在一起的时候,我已经完全,完全…
//Danielle Steele,美国著名言情小说家
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
(镜头转向Ross,捂着自己的肚子)
Ross: …nauseous, I’m physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Ross:…让人恶心,我觉得恶心死了。我该怎么办,啊?给移民局打电话?(暂停,似乎突然得到了灵感)我应该给移民局打电话!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls’ apartment, carrying lasagna.]
[场景:走廊里,Chandler和Joey正走出女孩的公寓,手里拿着烤宽面条]
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands…
Joey:我喜欢小宝宝,还有他们的小宝宝鞋,小小的小宝宝脚趾,还有他们的小宝宝手…
Chandler: Ok, you’re going to have to stop that, forever!
Chandler:好吧,你以后绝对不准再这样,永远不准!
(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)
(Joey打开门,把钥匙扔在了餐桌上,桌子倒了)
J
oey: Need a new table.
Joey:看来需要一个新桌子了。
Chandler: You think?
Chandler:你觉得呢?
[Scene: Carol and Susan’s, there’s a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
[场景:Carol和Susan家,有人敲门,Carol开门,Ross进来了]
Carol: Hey hey, come on in!
Carol:嘿,嘿,进来吧。
(Ross enters, carrying lasagna)
(Ross进来了,拿着烤宽面条)
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Ross:嘿,你好!mmwa!(亲Carol)我把书都拿来了,还有Monica向你问好,还给你带来了烤宽面条。
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, ’cause Susan doesn’t eat meat.
Carol:哦,太好了!是素的吗?因为Susan不吃肉。
Ross: (pauses) I’m pretty sure that it is…
Ross:(暂停)我敢肯定是的…
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol:好的,我今天拿到检查结果了。
Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh….?
Ross:(做出了着急的手势)哦,告诉我,告诉我,一切,恩…
Carol: Totally and completely healthy!
Carol:完全百分百健康!
Ross: Oh, that’s great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Ross:哦,太好了,太好了!(拥抱并亲吻Carol,然后拿起了一个像框)
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
Ross:嘿,你和Susan什么时候见到Huey Lewis的?
//Huey Lewis,美国男歌手
Carol: Uh, that’s our friend Tanya.
Carol:嗯,那是我们的朋友Tanya。
//Tanya,应该是个女人的名字,但是Ross把她当作男人,看来是两位女同志喜欢的类型
Ross: (surprised, chuckling nervously) Of course it’s your friend Tanya. (looks up frightenedly)
Ross:(惊讶,并偷笑)当然,这是你们的朋友Tanya。(看上去有点受惊)
Carol: Don’t you want to know about the sex?
Carol:你想要了解性别么?
//这句话被Ross理解为“你想要了解Carol、Susan和Tanya的XX情况么?”
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I’m having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that’s the best I could think of), yaw…
Ross:(紧张地笑)XX?(笑)恩,光是幻想你和Susan在一起我就觉得够麻烦了,现在又多了一个Tanya(假装挠头),那时我能想象的最好情况了,恩…
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Carol:孩子的性别,Ross。
Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh!
Ross:哦,你已经知道孩子的性别了?哦,哦,哦,哦!
Carol: Do you want to know?
Carol:你想知道吗?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don’t want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn’t…
Ross:不,不,不,不,不,我不想知道,绝对不想。我觉得,你知道的,我觉得你也应该等你生出来的时候才知道,然后可以说,哦,终于知道了!(暂停)或者,难道…
(Susan enters)
(Susan进来了)
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan:哦,你好,Ross!
Ross: Susan…
Ross:Susan…
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Susan:嗯,那么,你知道了吗?
Ross: Yes, we did, everything’s A-OK!
Ross:嗯,我们知道了,一切正常!
Susan: Oh, that’s so… (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is…do we know…?
Susan:哦,那真是太…(Susan拥抱Carol,她们开怀大笑,Ross站在一边)那真是…咱们知道….?
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it’s going to be…
Carol:是的,咱们已经知道了,将会生一个…
Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn’t want to know, standing right here!
Ross:(打断她们的话)哦,嘿,嘿,嘿,哦,哦,哦,哦,Hello,这里还站着一个不想知道的人呢!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
Susan:哦,是啊,结果和咱们想的一样吗?
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan’s shoulder)
Carol:当然(Susan和Carol拥抱,大笑。Ross站在后面,伸手轻轻拍了Susan的肩膀)
Ross: Ok, what, what…ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Ross:哦,什么,什么…好吧,你们本来以为会是什么?
Carol and Susan: It’s a…
Carol和Susan:是…
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don’t want to know, don’t want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross:(打断)不,不,我现在不想知道,不想知道。好吧,你们说,我是不是该走了,我还是走吧。
Carol: Well, thanks for the books.
Carol:嗯,谢谢你的书。
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol’s stomach, then punches Susan’s shoulder) Susan… (Ross leaves.)
Ross:没关系,好的,mmmwa(亲Carol)哦,mmmwa(亲Carol的肚子,然后在Susan肩上打了一拳)Susan…(Ross走了)
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
Susan:好的,咱们应该首先给谁打电话?你父母?或者Deb和Rona?
//Deb和Rona,似乎又是两个女生名字
Carol: Hello?
Carol:喂?
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don’t want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Ross:(透过对讲门铃)恩,算了,我不想知道。(Carol和Susan大笑)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s,  Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
[场景:Chandler和Joey家,Joey和Chandler用膝盖当桌子吃烤宽面条]
Chandler: Ok, so it’s just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler:好的,难道就因为这是我的桌子,我就得买个新的?
Joey: That’s the rule.
Joey:规矩就是这样的。
Chandler: What rule? There’s no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
Chandler:什么规矩?根本没有什么规矩,如果有规矩的话,那就是你欠我一个桌子!
Joey: How’d you get to that?
Joey:你怎么能这样说呢?
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Chandler:嗯,我确信在你和Angela Delvecchio进行小型早餐历险之前桌子都是完全正常的。
Joey: You knew about that?
Joey:你怎么知道那个?
Chandler: Well, let’s just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler:嗯,从你留下的奶油印迹中就可以想象出来了。
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey:好吧,好的,那咱俩分摊怎样?
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler:什么意思,难道说,一起买?
Joey: Yeah
Joey:是啊。
Chandler: You think we’re ready for something like that?
Chandler:你觉得咱俩的关系已经到这一步了?
Joey: Why not?
Joey:为啥不行?
Chandler: Well, it’s a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Chandler:嗯,这是个相当大的承诺,我是说,如果日后咱俩中有人想要搬走怎么办?
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey:为啥,你为啥要搬走?
Chandler: I’m not moving out.
Chandler:我不打算搬走。
Joey: You’d tell me if you were moving out right
Joey:是你刚才跟我说你要搬走的
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it’s just that with my last roommate Kip…
Ch
andler:是啊,是啊,就像我的上一个室友Kip…
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Joey:啊,我很了解Kip!
Chandler: It’s just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Chandler:是这样的,我俩一起买了一个炭火盆,然后他要搬走结婚了,最后我俩为那东西搞得非常僵。
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey:嗯,让我问你个问题,作为室友,Kip是不是比我还要好?
Chandler: Aw, don’t do that
Chandler:啊,别问这种问题。
[Scene: Phoebe’s Massage Parlor, Phoebe’s assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
[场景:Phoebe的按摩室,Phoebe的助手正在跟她讲预约情况的变化]
Phoebe’s Assistant: We’ve got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe的助手:你的安排有些变化,你四点的药物按摩被推迟到四点半,而且Somerfield小姐取消了她五点半的指压按摩。
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Phoebe:好的,谢谢。(助手走了,然后再次返回)
Phoebe’s Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don’t mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe的助手:哦,你三点的客户来了。我不想表现得不够专业,不过,迷人啊(离开,Paolo进来了)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Paolo:Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe:哦,Paolo,嗨,你来这里干嘛?
Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?
Paolo:嗯,Racquela告诉我你会按摩,是吗?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela’s right, yeah!
Phoebe:嗯,Racquela说得没错,对啊!
(Paolo speaks Italian)
(Paolo讲意大利文)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don’t know what you just said, so let’s get started.
Phoebe:哦,好的,我不明白你刚才在说啥,那么咱们开始吧。
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?
Paolo:嗯,我需要,恩,裸体吗?
Phoebe: Um, that’s really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off…oh whoops! You’re being naked!
Phoebe:嗯,这个就随意了,我是说,有些人喜欢这样,你知道的,要脱掉…哦,天哪!你已经脱光了!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
[场景:Central Perk,除了Phoebe大家都在]
Rachel: (to Ross) I can’t believe you don’t want to know. I mean, I couldn’t not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows….
Rachel:(对Ross)我真不敢相信你竟然不想知道,我是说,我绝对不能不知道,我是说,如果,如果医生已经知道了,而Carol知道了,Susan也知道了…
Monica: And Monica knows…
Monica:而且Monica也知道了…
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don’t even know!
Ross:啥?你怎么知道的?连我都不知道!
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
Monica:Carol刚才打电话来谢谢我的烤宽面条,我问了,她就告诉我了。
Joey: So what’s it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey’s ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey:那么结果是什么?(Monica在Joey耳旁耳语,Ross站起来疯狂挥动手臂抗议)
Ross: Wait—oh—hey—huh, oh great now he knows, and I don’t know!
Ross:等一下,哦,嘿,恩,这下好,他也知道了,而我还不知道!
Monica: I’m sorry, I’m just excited about being an aunt!
Moncia:对不起,我只是太激动了,我就要当姑姑了!
Joey: Or an uncle…
Joey:或者叔叔…
(Phoebe enters)
(Phoebe进来了)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey和Chandler:嘿,Phoebe!
Ross: Hi Pheebs!
Ross:嗨Pheebs!
Rachel: Pheebs!
Rachel:Pheebs!
Phoebe: Fine!
Phoebe:好!
Monica: Phoebe, what’s the matter?
Monica:Phoebe,你怎么啦?
Phoebe: Nothing, I’m sorry, I’m just, I’m out of sorts.
Phoebe:没什么,对不起,我只是,有点乱。
Customer: Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here?
顾客:嘿,能给我们这里来点cappuccino吗?
Rachel: Oh, right, that’s me!
Rachel:哦,好的,叫我了!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Joey:嘿,Chandler,卖桌子的店7点就关门了,走吧。
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
Chandler:好。(Joey和Chandler走向大门)
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Monica:Phoebe,到底怎么啦?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe:好的,你记得Paolo吗?
Ross: I’m familiar with his work, yes…
Ross:我对他的所作所为很了解,记得啊…
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe:嗯,他今天吃我豆腐。
(Joey and Chandler come back)
(Joey和Chandler回来了)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey:反正商店明天还会开门的!
Chandler: More coffee over here, please!
Chandler:这里再上点咖啡,谢谢!
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
[场景:Central Perk,继续早前的镜头]
Monica: Well, what happened?
Monica:什么?怎么回事?
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe’s legs.)
Phoebe:嗯,他进来按摩,本来一切都很正常,直到…(镜头回放,Paolo躺在按摩床上,用手摸Phoebe的腿)
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[切回Central Perk]
Joey and Chandler:  Ooooohh!
Joey和Chandler:哇哦!
Ross: My God.
Ross:天哪。
Monica: Are you sure?
Monica:你确定吗?
(The flashback resumes with Paolo grabbing her butt.)
(回放镜头继续,Paolo抓住了她的屁股)
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[切回Central Perk]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I’m sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren’t the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe:哦,当然,我很确定。(回放镜头继续,同时Phoebe开始画外音)突然一下他的手就不再是问题了。(回放镜头继续:Paolo翻过身,Phoebe向下看,然后迅速抬头,咬嘴唇,晃手)
Monica: Was it…?
Monica:是不是已经…?
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe:哦,男童子军都可以在那里扎营了。
Guys: Oooooo….
男人们:哦…
(Rachel runs over)
(Rachel过来了)
Rachel: "Ooo," what?
Rachel:“哦”什么?
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe:Uma Thurman。
//Uma Thurman,美国女演员,我最喜欢的她的一个片子:Kill Bill 1/2
Monica: Oh!
Monica:哦!
Ross: The actress!
Ross:女演员!
(all talking indistinctly, high-fiving)
(都说了一些莫名其妙的话,击掌)
Ross: Thanks Rach.
Ross:谢谢Rach。
(Rachel walks away)
(Rachel离开了)
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Chandler:那么你打算怎么办?
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It’s your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it’s a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Ross:你得告诉她!你得告诉她!这是你道义上的责任,作为朋友,以及作为女人,我觉得这是女权主义者的问题!男人们
?男人们?(等待男人们认同他的看法)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Chandler:哦,是啊,你应该告诉她。
Joey: Feminist issue. That’s where I went!
Joey:女权主义问题,我遇到的也是这种问题!
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
Phoebe:她会讨厌我的。
Ross:(sympathetic yet…) Yeah, well…
Ross:(怀着同情心…)是啊,恩…
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
[场景:家具店,Joey和Chandler正在选新桌子]
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey:赶紧挑一个吧,挑一个就行了!这个,你觉得这个怎么样?(指着一张桌子)
Chandler: That’s patio furniture!
Chandler:那是室外家具!
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I’m outside again?" Of course!
Joey:那又怎样,好像人们进来后会想,“啊哦,我又出来了?”当然!
Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?
Chandler:(指着另一张桌子)那个有鸟的怎么样?
Joey: I don’t know, birds just don’t say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey:我不知道,鸟又不会说,“你好,坐这里,吃点东西吧。”
Chandler: You pick one.
Chandler:你来挑吧。
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Joey:好的,有瓢虫的那个怎么样?
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler:哦,看来还是要忘了那只鸟,还是红色的虫子更能够引起食欲。
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Joey:好吧,你想要有鸟的咱们就买有鸟的!
Chandler: Not like that, I won’t! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Chandler:我不想这样,我不要了!(暂停片刻)Kip肯定会喜欢这个有鸟的!(Joey转身给了Chandler一个难看的表情)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
[场景:Monica和Rachel家,Rachel正在给Paolo的箱子里装衣服]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe:嘿!
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel:嗨,Pheebs!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Phoebe:你要搬家了吗?
Rachel: No, these aren’t all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one’s Paolo’s.
Rachel:不,这些不全是我的箱子。(拿起一个小的蓝色箱子给Phoebe看)这个是Paolo的。
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe:嗯,嗯,Rachel,咱们能谈谈吗?
Rachel: Well, sure…just a sec, though, ’cause Paolo’s on his way over.
Rachel:嗯,可以呀…稍等一下,虽然,因为Paolo今晚就要出发了。
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe:哦!(坐下)好的,嗯,好的,嗯,
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs…
Rachel:哦,Pheebs,Pheebs…
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven’t known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe:好的,嗯,(清嗓子)咱们还没有经过足够长的时间来了解对方,但是,恩,你肯定知道有关我的三件事。第一,朋友在我的生命中是最重要的;第二,我从不说谎话;第三,我做的燕麦葡萄干饼干是全世界最好吃的。(Phoebe打开一个罐子给Rachel拿了一些饼干)
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Rachel:(接过饼干)好的,谢谢Pheebs(咬了一口饼干,非常吃惊的表情)哦我的天哪,为什么我以前从来没有吃过呢?!
Phoebe: Oh, I don’t make them a lot because I don’t think it’s fair to the other cookies
Phoebe:哦,我不经常做,因为我觉得这对其他饼干并不公平。
Rachel: All right, well, you’re right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I’ve ever had.
Rachel:好的,嗯,你说得对,这确实是我吃过的最好吃的燕麦饼干。
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe:这正好证明了我从不说谎。
Rachel: I guess you don’t.
Rachel:我想你确实不说谎。
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe:Paolo今天吃我豆腐。
(Rachel looks stunned)
(Rachel似乎很震惊)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
[场景:Chandler和Joey家,Ross、Chandler、Joey和Monica正在赞赏他们的新桌子]
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Chandler:那么,你们觉得怎样?
Ross: I think It’s the most beautiful table I’ve ever seen.
Ross:我觉得这是我见过的最漂亮的桌子。
Chandler: I know!
Chandler:我就知道!
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler’s new foosball table.)
(镜头退后,显示出Joey和Chandler新买的足球桌)
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys’ heads?
Monica:那么,这东西是怎么用的,你们在这些小人的头上方盘子吗?
Joey: Who cares, we’ll eat at the sink! Come on, let’s play!
Joey:谁在乎,我们在水槽那里吃饭就行了,咱们来玩吧!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
Monica:正面朝上,Ross!(Monica胜了Chandler和Joey)得分!(指着Chandler)你们真烂!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
(Chandler惊异地看着Joey)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
[场景:Monica和Rachel家,Rachel正在从震惊中恢复]
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe:你还好吗?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Rachel:我想喝点牛奶。
Phoebe: Ok, I’ve got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go… (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe:好的,我这里有牛奶(从包里拿出热水瓶,准备倒进杯子里)给你…(Rachel直接就着瓶子口喝了)哦!(Rachel喝完了一热水瓶牛奶)好点了吗?
Rachel: No…oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he’s so great, he makes me feel so…" Oh, God, I’m so embarrassed!
Rachel:不…哦,我觉得自己太傻了!哦,那天跟你们在一起的时候我还是”哦,Paolo,他太棒了,他让我觉得很…“,哦,天哪,我觉得太难为情了!
Phoebe: I’m so embarrassed, I’m the one he hit on!
Phoebe:我才觉得难为情呢!他吃的是我的豆腐!
(Phoebe’s and Rachel’s lines overlap)
(Phoebe和Rachel的台词互相交叠)
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Rachel:Pheebs,如果我从没有见过他,那就不会发生这样的事情了!
Rachel and Phoebe: I’m so sorry! No I’m sorry! No I’m sorry! No I’m sorry!
Rachel和Phoebe:真对不起!不,是我对不起!不,我对不起!不,我对不起!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe:不,等等,哦,咱俩有什么对不起的?
Rachel: I don’t know…right, he’s the pig
Rachel:我不知道…对啊,都怪那头猪!
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe:纯粹是猪!
Rachel: Oh, God, he’s such a pig,
Rachel:哦,天哪,他真是头猪,
Phoebe: Oh he’s like a…
Phoebe:哦,他简直是…
Rachel: He’s like a big disgusting..
.
Rachel:他就像一只又大又恶心的…
Phoebe: …like a…
Phoebe:…就像…
Rachel: …pig…pig man!
Rachel:…猪…猪人!
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok…
Phoebe:没错,太好了!没错…
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man…how did I not see this?
Rachel:(颤抖的声音)哦,但是他是我的猪人…我怎么能忘掉他?
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It’s because… he’s gorgeous, and he’s charming, and when he looks at you…
Phoebe:(举手)哦,我知道!(Rachel很吃惊)因为…他很漂亮,而且很迷人,那么当他看你的时候…
Rachel: Ok, Ok, Pheebs…
Rachel:好吧,好吧,Pheebs…
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe:说完了。
Rachel: Oh, God…
Rachel:哦,天哪…
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Phoebe:我是不是不应该告诉你?
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it’s, it’s, it’s much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better…
Rachel:不,不,相信我,还是,还是,还是最好让我知道。恩,我喜欢提前知道…
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
(Phoebe甩甩头发拥抱Rachel)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
[场景:Chandler和Joey家,Phoebe正在告诉大家走廊对面发生的事情,大家正在继续玩足球游戏]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo’s over there right now, so…
Phoebe:我觉得她表现得很好。你知道的,Paolo对她已经毫无意义了,所以…
Monica: We should get over there and see if she’s okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one…second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Monica:我觉得咱们应该过去看看她现在怎么样。(和Ross换位置)不过要等…一下!得分!(Monica得分,和Ross击掌)比赛!走吧。(Monica和Phoebe离开了)
Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah…ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
Ross:(摩擦他的眉毛)啊哦!恩,就好像,恩,我们教训了你们一顿。
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Joey:不,不,她教训了我们一顿,你只是观众。
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Ross:来吧,二对一。
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it’s time for you to swoop in!
Chandler:你为啥还在这里?她刚和那个男人分手,这正是你趁虚而入的最佳时机!
Ross: What, now?
Ross:什么,现在?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She’s gotta know that you’re everything he’s not! You’re like, like the anti-Paolo!
Joey:是啊,现在你正好可以趁虚而入!你要确保当Paolo被踢开后,你是Rachel看到的第一个男人,她就会知道你有她缺少的一切,你就像,就像反Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She’s distraught. You’re there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Chandler:我的天主教朋友是对的。她现在已经发狂了,你可以出击了。只要你能把握机遇,那么你就可以进入Ross时代!(Ross和Chandler遥望远方,Joey不知道他们在看什么,也朝同一个方向看)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo’s clothes over the side.]
[场景:Monica和Rachel的阳台,Rachel正在从阳台上扔Paolo的衣服]
Paolo: No, that’s cold, that’s cold, that’s…
Paolo:不,太冷酷了,太冷酷了,太…
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
[镜头切回屋里]
Ross: (entering) How’s it going?
Ross:(进屋)怎样了?
Monica: Don’t stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there’s just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Monica:别看那边。她刚从阳台上扔完衣服,现在正在手舞足蹈,(镜头显示Rachel的手在胸前舞动),好的,那可能是,“你怎么能?”或者“博大胸襟”,他来了!
Phoebe: Ooh!
Phoebe:哦!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
(Paolo进屋,Ross、Phoebe和Monica散开)
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Paolo:嗯,我想,恩,跟大家道别。
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe:哦,好的,再见。
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica:Paolo,虽然我非常讨厌你对Rachel的所作所为,(递给他一份烤宽面条)但是我仍然有五份这东西,用375度的高温加热,直到干酪起泡泡就好了。
Paolo: Grazie.
Paolo:Grazie。
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say… (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Ross:Paolo,我,我只是想告诉你,而且我觉得这是代表大家在说…(当着他的面关门,走开了)
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her… (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe:哦,看她啊…(女孩们走向阳台上的Rachel)
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she’s not overwhelmed…
Ross:哦,你们两个,我,我真的觉得咱们之中只要去一个就够了,免得她受打击…
Monica: Oh, you’re right.
Monica:哦,你说得对。
Ross: (pulls Monica back) …and I really think it should be me.
Ross:(把Monica推到一边)…而且我觉得应该是我去。
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
[镜头切换到阳台,Ross正在爬过窗户]
Ross: Hey.
Ross:嘿。
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel:嘿。
Ross: You all right?
Ross:你没事吧?
Rachel: Ooh, I’ve been better…
Rachel:哦,我已经好多了…
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him…you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross:过来。(他拥抱Rachel)听我说,你理应得到比他更好的人…你知道吗,我是说,你,你,你应该和一个当和你在一起的时候能够认识到自己有多幸运的男人在一起。
Rachel: Oh, Ross…
Rachel:哦,Ross…
Ross: What?
Ross:怎么啦?
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don’t want to look at another guy, I don’t want to think about another guy, I don’t even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Rachel:我真是很厌倦男人了,我不想再找男人了,我再不想考虑其他男人了,我甚至不想再靠近任何一个男人身边。(Ross变色了)
Ross: Huh.
Ross:嗯。
Rachel: Oh Ross, you’re so great!
Rachel:哦Ross,你真是太好了。
Ross: Ohhhh (Hugs her and sighs)
Ross:哦(拥抱她,叹气)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
[镜头切回房间里,Rachel和Ross正准备进来]
Monica: Ooh…hey honey, are you all right?
Monica:哦…嘿,亲爱的,你好了吗?
Rachel: Oh…
Rachel:哦…
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe:你没事吧?
Rachel: …medium…hmm…any cookies left?
Rachel:…差不多…恩…还有饼干剩下来吗?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe:有啊!
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don’t think that swearing off guys
altogether is the answer. I really don’t. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Ross:瞧啊,Rach,恩,瞧啊,我觉得发誓再不接近男人不是个好方法,我真的觉得不好。我觉得你真正需要的是考虑一种更成熟的辨别方法。
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Rachel:不,最近一段时间我还是自己呆着吧,你知道吗,我只是想弄清楚我到底想要什么。
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not…not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Ross:嗯,不,不,瞧啊,因为并不是…并不是所有男人都会像Paolo那样的。
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I’m sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Rachel:不,我知道,我知道,而且我确信你儿子长大后绝对不会那样的。
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross:(惊讶的)啥?
Rachel: What?
Rachel:啥?
Ross: I-I’m, I’m having a boy?
Ross:我,我要,我要有儿子了?
Rachel: Uh…no. No, no, in fact, you’re not having a boy.
Rachel:嗯,不,不,不,实际上,你不会有儿子的。
Ross: Wha-I’m having, I’m having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Ross:什-我要有,我要有儿子了!(模仿婴儿的咿呀声)恩,我要有儿子了吗?
Girls: Yes, you’re having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
女生:是的,你要有儿子了!(Monica跑过去拥抱Ross)
Ross: I’m having a boy! Oh, I’m having a boy!
Ross:我要有儿子了!哦,我要有儿子了!
(Joey and Chandler run in)
(Joey和Chandler跑进来)
Chandler: Wha-
Chandler:什-
Joey: Wha-
Joey:什-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey和Chandler:什么事?
Ross: I’m having a boy! I-I’m having a boy!
Ross:我要有儿子了!我-我要有儿子了!
Joey: Hey!
Joey:嘿!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler:嘿!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Joey和Chandler:我们早知道了!(他俩拥抱)
Ross: I’m having a son. Um…
Ross:我要有儿子了,嗯…
(Ross looks scared)
(Ross看上去很担心)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
[场景:Chandler和Joey家,Monica正在忙着用足球教训Chandler和Joey]
Monica: Yes! And that would be a shut-down!
Monica:好啊,漂亮的射门!
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey和Chandler:闭-嘴!!(他俩同时走向自己卧室)
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
Monica:你们俩要去哪?来吧,再来一局!
Joey: Uh, it’s 2:30 in the morning!
Joey:嗯,现在已经是凌晨两点半了!
Chandler: Yeah, get out!
Chandler:是啊,滚吧!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I’ll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I’m going, (they throw her out) and I’m gone.
Monica:你们俩本来一直都是在我屋里混的!拜托,我光用我的左手,怎样?来吧!(Joey和Chandler举起了她)好吧,好吧,我走就是了,我这就走,(他们把她扔了出去)我走了。
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Chandler:(对Joey)再来一局?
Joey: Oh yeah!
Joey:好呀!
End
结束

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